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there is a saying in the Book of changes: "auspicious people have few words, but there are many irritable words."

the more impetuous a person is, the more he likes to compete with others in words.

and the more mature a person is, the more silent and low-key he is.

the more incompetent people are, the more they like words more than others

there is a question on Zhihu: "what is the lowest EQ behavior you have ever seen?"

A high praise replied, "always outperform others in words."

Wang Meng's early novel "eloquence" is about a patient who suffers from "eloquence" to see a doctor.

when the patient came to the clinic to see a doctor, the doctor politely invited him to take a seat, but the patient was not happy: "Why do you want to sit?" Can you deprive me of my right to stand? "

the doctor was speechless by his answer and quickly changed the subject and said, "it's a nice day today!"

the patient said, "you can only say that the weather here is not bad, but the weather in the South Pole and the North Pole is not much better."

the doctor couldn't stand it and asked him directly, "what's wrong with you?"

this seemingly absurd scene is not uncommon around us.

as Li Xiaolai said, there is really such a group of people in this world who firmly believe that "the earth is flat". If you point to the globe and say to him, "the earth is round", he will say that it is fake and artificial.

if you show him the photos taken by astronauts in space, he will continue to retort: "Yes, the picture is flat!"

they will deliberately find fault, even if they eventually go against the truth, they will bravely say that the black one is white.

if you want to argue with them, they will even keep talking until you occupy the peak of speech and make you throw in the towel.

in the end, you not only failed to convince the other party, but hurt yourself instead.

Carnegie said in the weakness of Human Nature:

"in the world, there is only one way to win an argument, and that is to avoid it."

meaningless arguments, there is no real winner, competing in language is a sign of low EQ.

the greatest self-discipline of adults is to restrain their desire to speak louder than others.

Don't argue when you can be silent

I have seen such a story.

once upon a time there was a chess master who was famous far and near.

once, someone came to visit him with a chess box: "you know so much about go, can you see how many pieces are in the box?"

the master smiled: "181 sunspots, 180 whites, a total of 361."

the man retorted, "No!" There are only 360. " Then he took out a chess piece hidden in his hand.

when the master's students saw him coming to find fault, they quarreled with each other. Neither side accepted the other, and the argument became louder and louder.

after a while, the master took the initiative to admit his mistake and said, "it is indeed my incompetence."

when the man heard this, he left with satisfaction.

the students were puzzled: "obviously he came up to stir up trouble, but why did you admit your mistake, teacher?"

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Master smiled and said:

"Why do you keep entangling with him when you know he's here to be unreasonable? If he is not satisfied, he will not leave for three days and nights. Instead, he will waste each other's time. "

Summer worms can't talk about ice, and arguing with people at different levels is just a kind of unnecessary consumption.

not long ago, bilibili had a video that went viral.

A director made a short film about the city scenery, in which the scenes are all high-rise buildings and neon bars.

he showed the film to the aborigines in Africa, and instead of discussing the luxurious scenes in the film, they talked about a chicken with relish.

the director was so confused that he didn't remember filming a chicken at all.

so he flipped through frame by frame, and finally in an inconspicuous corner, he saw the chicken.

the original African aborigines who watched the film have never seen high-rise buildings or neon bars at all, they have only seen chickens.

everyone has different cognitive levels, and arguing at different levels is like casting pearls before swine. If you talk to him so much, they won't listen to him at all.

there is a very good saying:

"A sign of maturity is that you are no longer anxious to argue with others about your views, and come to understand that not all people live in the same sea."

growth is probably, in the past, when you were misunderstood or had a different opinion, you wanted to grab the other person's collar and say it for three days and three nights.

not anymore. If you don't understand, I'll turn around and walk away. "

the better people are, the more they like to be silent

there is a dialogue in Mo Zi Hou Yu.

the bird asked, "is it good to talk too much?"

Mozi said:

"Toad, frog fly, singing day and night, dry mouth and tongue, but do not listen." Today, the morning chicken crows at night, and the world vibrates. "

Toads and flies, all dayKeep screaming, but no one wants to hear their voices.

Roosters are usually silent, as long as they crow in the early morning, the sound is shocking all over the world.

as the saying goes, if you don't make a sound, it's a blockbuster.

in many cases, silence is more powerful than noise.

in the things of the Ming Dynasty, the writer Mingyue mentioned a problem:

how can I tell if a team is strong enough?

he said that whether a team is strong or not depends not only on its system hard strength, but more importantly, on whether it has a quality.

this quality is silence.

the most powerful team is often a silent team.

they have different faces and speak different languages.

but they stayed together quietly during the meeting, listening to the same voice, looking in the same direction, silent.

it's like a dark cloud pressing down on the city, they don't say a word, but there is morale all around them.

if they are all eager to shout slogans to show their bravery, then when it comes to the real fight, the momentum will decline, and the loss will outweigh the gain.

A person's confidence and strength at the bottom of his heart never need to make a noise from the outside.

people who are really strong never talk too much on weekdays. On the contrary, they all know how to build up strength in silence.

"the combination of maxims" says:

"the most important thing for self-cultivation is to clear one's mind, and to be cautious in dealing with the world."

instead of spending time fighting with others, keep silent and settle down to do what you have to do.

only by accumulating strength in silence and keeping a low profile can we rise abruptly based on accumulated strength.

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Huang Tingjian once wrote: "it is better to be silent than to be silent."

the depth of the water is silent, and a man is silent.

the more experienced and knowledgeable one is, the more he understands the power of silence.

Silence is not a pussy, but to see through and not to speak.

in life, only by learning to be silent can we keep prosperity.

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