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in our daily life, it is not difficult to find that some people are always very popular and have a smooth working life.

and some people, no matter who they get along with, always feel embarrassed.

there is such a saying: the really high EQ is to make people comfortable.

and how to make each other comfortable in the process of interacting with people, there is a "twenty-eight law" in life.

to do this, have a comfortable interpersonal relationship.

listen to eight points of conversation and say two points

Why do people have two ears and one mouth? they just want us to listen more and talk less.

in the process of communicating with people, listening is often more powerful than speaking.

Carnegie said something like this:

"as long as you are a good listener, you will make more friends in two weeks than you do in two years to win attention."

one day, Carnegie went to New York for an important dinner, where he met a world-famous botanist.

Carnegie didn't say a word to the botanist all the time, but listened attentively.

however, when the dinner was over, the botanist praised Carnegie to his host, saying that he was an "inspiring person" and an "interesting conversationalist" at the dinner.

Carnegie didn't say much all the time, but just let himself listen carefully, which won the favor of the botanist.

the real meaning of communication is not to talk endlessly, but to listen carefully.

David Schwartz said: "the big people listen and the little people monopolize the speech."

if you want to be close to someone, listen more to the person next to you and say less about yourself.

being good at listening is not only a kind of low profile, but also a kind of wisdom; it not only makes you more popular, but also allows you to make more friends.

eight points of listening and two points of speaking is not only a kind of speaking wisdom, but also a kind of great EQ.

making friends is eight points warm and two points cold

as the old saying goes, "if you make mistakes, you will lose, and you need to be careful."

this is the way to do things, and it is the same to treat others. With less discretion and no boundaries, the closer you are, the more likely it is to have cracks in your relationship.

du Wenze and Andy Lau became close friends because of their filming of Infernal Affairs.

whether in life or career, whenever du Wenze has difficulties, Andy Lau is always the first to come forward to help him.

sublet a mansion at a low price, give a gift as the best man, raise money to help make a movie. Andy Lau has almost no reservations about this friendship.

however, this seemingly "very iron" friendship came to an end only with a rational refusal.

du Wenze's film did not do well at the box office, so he wanted to make a sequel, so he once again asked Andy Lau for help.

in order to avoid losing money again, Liu Dehua turned down du Wenze.

who would have thought that du Wenze held a grudge and spread bad words about Andy Lau everywhere, losing his reputation.

Liu Dehua's sincerity did not get du Wenze's true meaning, but in exchange for a profound lesson: getting too close to anyone is a disaster.

Chen Daoming said in an interview: "when the two are really from the bottom of their heart, they are not far apart."

treat people eight points warm, leaving two points, called boundaries, called size.

the way to get along with friends is to be close to each other, close to each other, and close to each other.

Life is like a ruler, you must have a degree. Feelings, such as noodles, do not cross the line.

people who live thoroughly will respect each other and cherish themselves with an appropriate sense of distance.

eight points of kindness to others, don't forget two points of edge

Spring and Autumn said, "people are good and good. Although the blessing has not yet arrived, the misfortune is far away."

"being kind to others" is the truth that we have been taught since childhood.

Cong Fei, a Shenzhen singer, has a high income, but his family is in vain.

he only lived to be 37 years old. in his life, he participated in more than 400 benefit performances, supported 183 students and donated more than 3 million.

in order to support others, he performed everywhere desperately, and as a result, he delayed his treatment and died of illness.

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but his kindness not only did not get the gratitude of the recipients, but aroused their dissatisfaction.

when Cong Fei was critically ill, a donor called and asked:

"didn't you say you would send my child to graduate from college? If your child is still in junior high school, you won't pay for it. Aren't you kidding people? "

"Sorry, I'm in treatment and I can't remit money."

Cong Fei, who is dying, replied.

"when will you be able to cure your illness and make money by performing?"

affection becomes an obligation, and indiscriminate kindness is not gratitude, but blame.

Cong Fei is kind, but his kindness loses its edge and eventually becomes a sharp blade to hurt himself.

and some people, even if you are kind to him, can not change his character, such a person, do not deserve your kindness.

Emerson said, "your goodnessGood must have some edge, otherwise it will be equal to zero. "

like a cactus, the thorn on the body is not to attack others, but to protect yourself.

any relationship has its pattern. You can't just give, let alone enjoy.

keep eight points of kindness, do not forget two points of edge, take care of others, but also do not forget to protect yourself.

EQ is really important for people to get along with each other.

chat with people, talk less to yourself, and listen more sincerely;

treat the people around you, give seven points and leave three points to love yourself.

be kind, but while being kind to others, keep your own principles and bottom line.

when people live a lifetime, we will meet countless people and make friends with countless people.

always abide by the "28 laws" of interpersonal communication, work hard in a low profile, improve your EQ, and have a comfortable interpersonal relationship.

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