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Insight

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as the saying goes, nine times out of ten things go wrong in life, but you can tell people that there is no one, two or three.

Life is a spiritual practice, not only to face difficult problems at work, but also to deal with complex human relationships.

it's not easy to live, so why worry about those trivial things.

only by mastering the law of unworthiness can we live at ease in this complicated world.

people with different levels are not worth arguing about

Zhuangzi once said, "well frogs cannot speak to the sea, and summer worms cannot speak to ice."

one day, painter Zhang Daqian held an exhibition in England.

in order to have a better display effect, he made a peony picture on the spot.

when he finished his pen, he had water in his mouth and sprayed it evenly on the drawing paper, and the peony, which was a little stiff, immediately became smart.

when people around him were in amazement, a man suddenly said angrily:

"is this the art of painting? It turns out that Chinese painters rely on spitting on their paintings, which is ridiculous!

"

everyone turned to look at Zhang Daqian, but he just smiled and gave no explanation.

afterwards, someone couldn't help asking him, "you obviously use the method of developing ink in Chinese ink painting, so why don't you explain it to him?"

"

Zhang Daqian said:

"Why should I argue with him? If he knows anything about Chinese painting, I would like to learn from it. "

feel it carefully, it is true.

understanding is the basis of communication. Arguing with people who don't know is tantamount to casting pearls before swine and wasting each other's time.

in the Book of morality, it is said: "the way of saints, do not dispute for the sake of."

people who are really good don't make unnecessary arguments.

instead of wasting more breath with others, it is better to precipitate and enrich yourself.

an estranged relationship is not worth retaining

in Zhihu, I have seen a heart-wrenching question: why are good friends estranged?

there is a highly praised answer: because of the aging years and the fading values.

I think so.

the older you get, the more you understand that the alienation of adults is not only silent, but also impossible to retain.

just like the friendship between Zhang ailing and Pan Liudai, with the passage of time, it changed from being inseparable at first to looking at each other later.

before Zhang ailing became famous, she met Pan Liudai, who was already well-known in the literary world, as if she had met a lifelong confidant.

they talk about literature together, tell secrets together, talk about ideals together, and go shopping for tea.

later, Zhang ailing became more and more famous, which aroused the jealousy in Pan Liudai's bones.

when Pan Liudai arrived, she saw Zhang ailing in an evening dress and thought she was going to take to the street, but Zhang ailing said that she was just eating tea.

Zhang ailing was originally dressed up to prove her importance to Pan Liu Dai, but in Pan Liu Dai's heart, it became a naked show-off.

from then on, their relationship began to estranged, and Pan Liudai even wrote articles sneering at Zhang ailing for being pretentious and arrogant.

when Zhang ailing came to Hong Kong a few years later, she was told that Pan Liudai was also here.

Zhang ailing just said faintly, "I don't know who Pan Liudai is."

there is a passage in Nirvana in Fire:

"how many good friends are there in the world, who are of the same age and like-minded, and could have never crossed each other all their lives.

but who would have expected a sudden change? from then on, we can only watch the Tianya road far away. "

the estrangement between Eileen Chang and Pan Liudai has never been an exception.

everyone goes through a lot of encounters and parting in his or her life.

some people are doomed to be passers-by, no matter how much retention will not help.

Don't waste your time on someone who isn't worth it, pick up the mood and take every relationship seriously.

the comments of others are not worth paying attention to

I don't know if you have found that it is inevitable to be judged by others in life.

the attitude towards these evaluations sometimes determines a person's success or failure.

some people are stuck in the evaluation of others and can't get out for a lifetime, while others ignore the views of others and finally live their own wonderful life.

in 1970, a 14-year-old mining boy was working while thinking about his dream: I want to be a writer like Balzac.

at that time, he only knew more than 3,000 Chinese characters, which was at most a primary school level.

but the beauty of his dream made him feel as if he could overcome all difficulties. Working during the day and writing at night became the norm in his life.

the people around him couldn't watch it, thought he had two axes, and said, "if you can become a writer, the world will be strange."

his manuscripts were sent out in large bags and returned in large bags.

every rejection can become a joke of the local postman. As soon as they saw his letter, they began to shout across the street: "manuscript fee (waste), manuscript fee (waste)."

but he did not care about other people's comments and ridicule, and insisted on writing for six or seven years without everyone's approval.

he is Zhou Mason, author and screenwriter of "in the name of the people".

if he had listened to other people's comments and chose to give up halfway, there would be no top writer, gold medal screenwriter Zhou Mason, who is now a household name.

in many cases, it is not the difficulties that defeat us, but the voices of the outside world.

as stated in the book "May you have a Life illuminated by Love":

"if you are a tree, other people's attitude towards you is wind after wind."

if you care about other people's opinions, it means that any gust of wind will shake you violently and even blow you down. "

the influence of other people's evaluation on us depends entirely on our own state of mind.

selectively block the evaluation of others and keep your original mind, so that you can go further and further on the road of life.

the past is not worth entangling

I have heard such a saying: "No one lives in the past and no one lives in the future. The present is the only form of life in the present."

in life, many people are unhappy because they are addicted to the regrets of the past.

but time is in a hurry, and time is easy to grow old.

dwelling on the past will only bring us to a standstill. Only by putting aside the regrets of the past can we reap the splendor of the future.

in the Song Dynasty, there was a man named Lu Wenjing who had four sons.

in order to test which son has the talent of prime minister, he deliberately broke a precious piece of jade and observed the reaction of several sons.

as a result, three of the four children shouted and hurried to report to their wife. Only the second son was unmoved, as if nothing had happened.

seeing this, Lu Wenjing asked him, "the jade is broken. Why aren't you in a hurry?"

the public replied calmly, "Father, now that it's broken, what's the use of being in a hurry?"

there is a famous western proverb: don't cry over spilled milk.

Let bygones be bygones and the future will come.

it is the wise man's behavior to learn to let go and stop loss in time.

does not belong to your circle and is not worth climbing

there is a kind of people who live the most tiring life in this world.

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they always want to fit into the so-called circle, putting others first and wronging themselves to achieve it.

but forget, do not belong to their own circle, even if you enter, it will not do any good.

an interesting story was told in the Tale of the wonderful things of the World:

one day, the protagonist with a successful career suddenly found that the evaluation of himself by others was clearly visible.

praised that his evaluation turned into a blue sticker, scolded him as a red sticker, and the red sticker accounted for the majority.

through the red sticker, he knew for the first time that he was such a loner in the company.

in order to integrate into the group, he began to please his subordinates desperately, not only taking the initiative to help his subordinates solve problems, but also protecting employees who made false accounts.

at first, red criticism turned blue one by one under his efforts.

however, as long as he makes a slight decision that annoys his colleagues, the label on his body begins to turn red again.

the protagonist's experience is a pity, but many people have similar experiences in life.

in order to integrate into the so-called circle, to do something contrary to the heart and principles, and finally gradually blurred the self.

when you think about it, it's really not worth it.

writer Wang Kailing once said: "crowds are often people's graves."

blindly pursue gregariousness, bluntly want to squeeze into a circle that does not belong to you, and you will only lose yourself in the end.

circles are different, so there is no need for forced integration.

learn to save all your time for yourself in order to improve your self-ability and live your true self.

▽

the maximum length of a person's life is no more than 30,000 days.

Why waste time for people who are not worth it?

for those people and things that are not worth it, breaking up is the best thing to do.

Maria Robinson said:

"No one can go back and start over, but everyone can start now and create a new future."

from now on, try to break up with everything that is not worth it, and leave your time and energy to the right person, the right thing and the right life.

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