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ask Zen with all your heart

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as the old saying goes, "when the water is clear, there is no fish, and when the man is clear, there is no friend."

when people are alive, if they have to fight over everything, in the end, they will get nothing.

what is argued is reason, what is lost is love, and what is hurt is people.

the struggle between man and heaven is beyond his power; when man fights with others, it is difficult to bear a heavy load.

therefore, indisputable is the greatest wisdom in life.

in life, if you win or lose, you lose

as the saying goes, "people are better than others, and they are exasperating."

in life, you will only get angry if you win or lose.

if you have more money than money, what if you have less money; if you are taller, shorter, fatter and thinner than those who look better, you will grow old.

in the end, it all came to nothing.

I have heard such a story:

in a street, there are two supermarkets, and the usual passenger volume is the same.

the two supermarkets have been at peace with each other for many years, but the number of customers has decreased a lot this year.

the two supermarkets began to compete in secret.

Today you get a 50% discount, and tomorrow I get a 60% discount.

the two supermarkets are happy to compete with each other, and both sides have suffered heavy losses during this period.

after a period of time, a supermarket couldn't hold up and closed down.

another supermarket thought it had won, when a new supermarket opened on the street.

everyone has heard the story of snipe and mussel fighting, and they are all losers in the end.

in fact, there are a lot of such contests in life.

in such a competition, no one is the absolute winner, and both sides will consume themselves to varying degrees.

there is a saying: "if you want to be a big tree, do not fight with the grass."

if you compete with others, you will consume yourself; only if you do not contend with others can you be yourself.

instead of running out of energy to fight for it, you might as well do it yourself and get it.

in any fight, no one will avoid loss, only to compare who loses less.

so, some win or lose, win is also lose.

in a relationship, fighting for right or wrong is wrong

French philosopher La Rochefoucauld once said:

"if you want to make enemies, you are better than your friends; if you want to make friends, let your friends outperform you."

I think so.

in a relationship, if the two sides have to fight for right or wrong, the relationship will only break down in the end.

argue with your family, win, lose your affection;

fight with your lover, win, and your feelings fade away.

argue with friends, win, friendship is gone.

without arguing, it will make the relationship more harmonious.

in the book Pingru Meitang, it records the 60 years of marriage between writer Rao Pingru and his wife Meitang.

in the book, there are the sweetness of their feelings and the trivialities of their lives.

the love story of their mutual help has become a model for contemporary couples and has been praised and learned by thousands of people.

Rao Pingru is very fond of reading, so his wife has to work on a lot of things in the family.

although he takes good care of his wife when he is ill.

but his wife often complained about him, and he never cared about it, and he was still happy.

Rao Pingru knows that his wife has a knife mouth and a heart of tofu, so she is usually unforgiving in her mouth, but her heart is very soft.

they once disagreed over a trifle.

Rao Pingru threw a hot kettle on the ground when she was in high spirits at that time, and his wife Meitang was scared to tears.

at this time, Rao Pingru knew that if the quarrel went on like this, it would hurt each other.

he immediately went to his wife, took her by the hand and apologized to her, saying that he should not be so excited.

the wife looked at Pingru, who had bowed her head, and stopped worrying about it, and the two were as good as ever.

there are all kinds of ups and downs in their marriage.

but every time there is a conflict, they will not get red in the face.

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is such an indisputable, let them go through 60 years hand in hand.

in fact, such forbearance is the most important lubricant in a relationship.

quarrels can not solve any problems, but also lead to estrangement from each other.

in getting along with others, everyone has different ideas and opinions.

if you haggle over everything and argue about who is right and who is wrong, it will put the relationship in jeopardy.

there is a lot of disturbance in the world, and the struggle is still in vain.

if you win the argument with the people around you, you will lose love.

the cost is actually greater than that of right and wrong.

less disputes and more patience will make each other's relationship more lasting.

Don't fight or rob, it's the highest realm of life

No argument is not cowardice or compromise, but a kind of wisdom.

if you don't argue when things happen, you will be better able to be yourself; if you don't argue with others, you will be able to have a good relationship.

as a matter of fact, there are not so many right or wrong wins or losses in one's life, some are just temporarily unable to let go and can't let go.

if you put that person down and think about it, you will find that it doesn't matter.

when Zeng Guofan was studying, he met a classmate who was messing around.

but Zeng Guofan is at the window.When I was reading, the classmate said, "you're blocking my light. Go away."

Zeng Guofan didn't argue with him either, so he moved the books to bed.

at night, the classmate said, "you affected me by reading late at night."

Zeng Guofan put down his book without saying a word and went out early the next morning to read.

once, their teacher wanted Zeng Guofan to invite an old friend.

that classmate volunteered to be in the limelight.

but the teacher intended Zeng Guofan to get to know that old friend

.

when the teacher was embarrassed, Zeng Guofan said to let the classmate go, while he read quietly.

later, Zeng Guofan won an uplift, and the classmate said that Zeng Guofan took away his fengshui luck.

from beginning to end, Zeng Guofan never competed with that classmate.

but now Zeng Guofan has made his name in history, and that classmate has long been forgotten.

Lin Yutang said, "if you don't argue, it's a big argument." If there is no dispute, there will be no dispute among people all over the world. "

this kind of Zeng Guofan is a big dispute.

what if you win and lose.

A temporary dispute cannot bring long-term profits.

therefore, do not fight, do not rob, is the highest state of life.

Bai Luomei said:

"A game of chess in life, there is nothing we can do about winning or losing. When you are lost, you are mostly in the bureau; when you are enlightened, you are already outside the bureau. "

won the battle for a while, but lost the overall situation.

in life, it is you who lose when you fight for height; in your feelings, you hurt yourself if you win or lose.

without striving is a strategy of keeping a low profile and the wisdom of making concessions at the right time.

in this life, only by not fighting can we live a good life with peace of mind.

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