12

"good to see the letter, uncle.

I have been following you for almost three years, and it has become a habit to listen to articles every day. Thank you very much for meeting such a good sharing and giving me strength and guidance.

I have a friend who has known each other for many years. In the four years of college, we were very close and talked about everything.

once swore that if he couldn't get married after the age of 30, he would buy a big house together and raise a bunch of cats and dogs.

at that time, we all believed that we were an indispensable part of each other.

but after graduation, for various reasons, I failed to choose Beijing drifters as firmly as she did. I went back to my hometown in Anhui and found an easy design job.

maybe we meet less, the circles are different, and we gradually can't talk about each other.

later, I was in a car accident and lay in the hospital for three months. She didn't even say hello.

look through the moments and find that she has a new friend. She ate, drank, played and smiled sweetly with her new friends.

I know we can never go back.

can

I am a dead heart, every

times

when people talk about 'best friend', I still think of her immediately, and I still feel a little sad. "

by book friends @ booze

the friends who once talked about wine and gossip at dinner gradually disappeared into the crowd.

those colleagues who had lunch together and worked overtime together did not even leave their contact information after leaving their jobs.

when people reach a certain age, drifting away has really become the norm of life.

Today's

column, my uncle wants to discuss with you about

the truth of adult social interaction

.

in the adult world, there is no one who will always have a preference.

I hope that after reading this article, you can learn to cherish meeting, laugh at parting, not afraid to leave, not afraid to lose.

01

all relationships fade slowly

there is such a question on Zhihu:

# how does the relationship between people fade? #

there is an answer at the bottom, poking the heart:

"one does not ask, one does not say; one does not return, one does not give way; one does not equal, one does not pursue."

Life is like a pot of tea, from warm to cold; the heart is like a fire, after which there are only ashes, it is hard to escape the word "cold".

not long ago, I celebrated my birthday with my family and posted a circle of friends.

after a while, I received a like from a friend who had not been in touch for a long time, with the words "Happy Birthday".

this kid is my college roommate. He slept in my upper bunk for four years. During the period of school, we had a very close relationship.

after graduation, everyone was so busy with work and life that they almost lost touch with each other.

when I saw his comments, I was very excited. I opened the private message box and quickly pressed out, "good boy, how are you doing now? forget your brothers."

after thinking about it, I thought it was too sad and deleted it. I typed "you still remember my birthday" and found it a bit inappropriate, so I deleted it again.

in the end, I just politely replied "thank you", and there was no more to say.

I do not know from one day on, our relationship with some friends has become particularly "tacit": if you do not come to me, I will never take the initiative to come to you.

gradually, the chat has been removed from the top, the "special concern" has been returned to the "ordinary grouping", and the past second likes have become today's polite pleasantries.

We are finally far away, even if the warmth of the past is still there, it is difficult to cross the ditches and ridges in the long river of time.

as Li Shutong wrote in the lyrics, "the end of heaven, the corner of the earth, the acquaintance is half scattered." It is rare in life to get together, but there are many parting.

for some people, to say goodbye is to say goodbye; for some things, the past is the past.

resentment only blames people in the wind, gathering and breaking up is not up to you and me.

02

Don't bother anyone who doesn't reply to your message.

I have read a story on Douyin:

A girl falls in love with a boy and sends him "good morning" as soon as the alarm goes off every morning.

when I am free during the day, I will share my daily chores with boys and send "what are you doing? have you eaten?"

but often in the evening, she received a reply from the boy, and sometimes she had to wait two or three days before she received a "Oh" from the other person.

the girl thought, perhaps, he is too busy. But at least he answered me.

so still heartless every day, sending one "good morning" and "good night" one after another.

until later, she met another boy. No matter how busy the boys are at work, they will find time to chat with themselves every day.

it suddenly occurred to her that all her busyness was just an excuse for not loving it.

in the adult world, silence is the answer, and no response is refusal.

think about it, in this era of mobile phones, who will not be free to check their phones 24 hours a day, and who will be too busy not to reply to your messages all day?

after all, it's just because you're not important in his mind, you're dispensable.

so don't keep knocking on a door that can't be opened. Instead of melting each other's indifference with enthusiasm, it is better to take back an eyeful of tenderness and leave it to someone who can see you.

Friendship or love, the most important thing for two people to be together is to get along comfortably.

if you need to rack your brains to maintain the relationship with him, you might as well let go as soon as possible.

likes a sentence in "overseas Love Letters" very much:

"I am eager to meet you, but please remember that I will not ask to see you, not because I am proud, but because our meeting is meaningful only when you meet me."

similarly, when I send you a message, such a conversation is meaningful only when you have a response.

A good relationship is based on two-way travel, and there is no room for reluctance and accommodation.

03

Get ready to shop magnificent wedding dresses with sleeves and suit your core of personality? Once you make up your choice, relax, we will take care of everything.

Thanksgiving to meet, live up to

I read a Zen story a long time ago:

it is about a young man who has been in love with his girlfriend for many years and has been ill ever since.

one day, he passed by a square monk and took a mirror out of his arms and asked him to look.

the young man saw the vast sea and a murdered woman was lying on the beach.

A passer-by looked at it, shook his head, and left; another passer-by took off his clothes and covered her, and left; another passer-by dug a hole and carefully buried her.

the monk explained:

"that woman is your girlfriend's past life, you are the second passer-by, once gave her a piece of clothes, this life fell in love with you just to return your love.

in the end, she will repay the person who buried her, who is now her husband. "

the young man realized and soon recovered from his illness.

in fact, fate has its own destiny, so you don't have to worry too much about it.

some fate is shallow, can only walk hand in hand, do not give up, but also have to say good-bye with dignity.

as it is said in Thousand and thousand fathom:

"when the person with you wants to get out of the car, be grateful even if you are sad, and then wave goodbye."

We all yearn for a long and stable relationship, but the tide of time blows a lot of friendship in the wind.

once very close friends, began to become estranged, gradually no longer contact, become a "like acquaintance".

lovers who were once very close became speechless and slowly disappeared into each other's lives.

it is the law that flowers blossom and fall; it is providence that fate comes and goes.

cherish those who are predestined; do not miss those who are not predestined.

for the rest of your life, may you not regret every encounter, do not regret leaving, cherish the present, and live up to your debts.

share with my friends!