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there is a question on Zhihu: "Why are the better people less sociable?"

A high praise replied:

"because for excellent people, if they socialize too much, they will be less satisfied with their lives, and being alone makes them know exactly what they want, so that they can have a high quality of life."

people, the lonelier they are, the better they are

recently, the TV series "Golden years" has become a hit again, making 65-year-old Chen Daoming popular again and again.

some people say: "although he has appeared on TV less and less in recent years, as long as we see him, we can know what kind of acting skills are really honed with the years."

he is not so much acting as he is already integrated with the character.

play, said a paragraph when talking with his partners:

"idealists are sometimes very lonely. M á rquez has a saying that before loneliness may be confused, after loneliness is growth, let's grow up together. "

in fact, this sentence is also a portrayal of Chen Daoming himself. Although he is in the lucrative show business, he prefers the serenity of solitude.

nowadays everyone wants to squeeze into the Vanity Fair, but in his opinion, solitude is the true virtue.

when you are alone, you can purify yourself, train yourself, think quietly, and be happy even if you know that you are nothing in the future.

people often say that "the world is full of fawning bones, but only you are the same", which is probably the most appropriate label for Chen Daoming.

apart from his work, he spends most of his time on art and books, lightening the burden on his soul and enriching his mind.

Reading, playing the piano, practicing calligraphy, painting, and sometimes doing handicrafts with his wife, feel the quiet years, but also improve their literary literacy.

the literary leader, Mr. Ji Xianlin, once commented:

"Chen Daoming's literary level is competent for graduate students at Peking University."

the more powerful people are, the more quiet they are, and the more outstanding they are, the more they can grow up in the process of enjoying loneliness.

Zhou Guoping said:

"the bored are self-loathed, the lonely are self-pity, and the lonely are self-sufficient."

standing in an ever-changing era, those who learn to be alone can have freedom and control their thoughts from being influenced by others.

Ding Junhui, known as the "child prodigy of snooker", is also a loner. He began to practice at the age of 8 and won the world championship at the age of 15.

many people only know these halos, but they don't know that he gave up his entertainment time to practice and used to spend the whole year alone in the practice room.

other children feel that he is a loner, and only he knows that when a person works hard, he is not a loner, but he is doing what he wants to do.

loneliness is not the isolation of personality, but the independence of spirit.

after the age of 40, there is no need to invite too many people into life

what is freedom?

actress Chen Jin has a passage that hit the nail on the head:

"people are always lonely, whether you have a family or children, a person always gets along with himself all his life.

Freedom is when you stand alone, without attachment or fear, and there are some things that others can't help you at all, only yourself.

"

but the reality is that in the changing years, fake friendship makes life crowded, and true friends can hardly let go.

at the family reunion not long ago, I met an elder I hadn't seen for years, and I learned a lot after a conversation.

when talking about growing up, my elders told me, "people, never socialize for the sake of socializing. Your time should be spent on more worthwhile things."

when he was young, he made a lot of money in business, so he felt that he should expand his social circle and get to know more upper-class people.

Dinner attended one after another, and participated in activities again and again. Wechat added hundreds of people.

but he never thought that his true-tempered friend would "stumble over himself" in business one day, and the good friend, who believed in it, helped the hostile company at the critical moment.

there are countless people who add icing on the cake, but there are very few people who give help in the snow.

there is a correct point of view: one of the signs of maturity is to understand that 99% of what happens to yourself is meaningless to others.

when it comes to making friends, the 50-year-old says with a smile, "it's enough to meet 1% of the people who understand you in your life."

I can't help thinking of Ding Hui in the variety show "fascinating offer". He was busy working in a law firm during the day. When he came home at night, he remembered that it was his 29th birthday when he saw the cake from his girlfriend.

Ding Hui's sentence: "No one remembers my birthday, only you remember, it is really touched."

poked the tears of many people.

people's energy is limited, after the age of 40, there is no need to invite too many people into life, precious time should be reserved for those who really love themselves.

as the writer Su Ling wrote:

"I would rather be alone than go against my will. I would rather regret than make do with it."

be a lonely person for the rest of my life

this student is very special. He often walks out of school alone after class, takes a random bus and takes a book to record the scenery along the way.

shops, repair shops, stations, and so on, the most ordinary things are beautiful in his eyes.

later, he recorded what he saw and heard into a book and took it out in his spare time, which added a lot of color to his life.

some people say: "when you stay alone, you often feel dull and unbearable to be lonely."

but how can you feel lonely if your heart is rich and filled with more new things?

four years ago, famous photographer Yuriko Takagi came across a natural mountain forest and liked it very much.

so she began to study decoration theory, get a driver's license, and then moved into the mountains alone.

she bought a house in the mountains, decorated it in her favorite style, and cooked it slowly from spring to autumn.

65-year-old, speaking of the days when she lived alone, she said with emotion:

"the most important thing for a person is to be independent. To run his own life well is a career."

when people reach middle age, it is a process of constant reconciliation with themselves, abandoning the depression brought by loneliness and approaching a deeper level of freedom.

Dress to impress in our collection of cream evening dresses. We have cuts and forms to fit any silhouette.

because true peace is not to avoid the hustle and bustle of cars and horses, but to build hedges and plant chrysanthemums in your heart.

there are many things you can do when you are alone:

watch a documentary, read a good book, find the meaning of life and experience the joy of being alone.

enrich yourself by learning good food or craftsmanship and acquiring new skills.

make a summary of the past, make plans for the future, and make people understand themselves by introspection.

while doing a thorough cleaning and cleaning the room, you are also cleaning up your negative emotions.

▽

Zhou Guoping wrote about the three states of loneliness in "solitude is an ability":

"first, they are in a state of panic and confusion, and are bent on escaping from loneliness;

the second is to gradually get used to loneliness, set up the order of life with peace of mind, and expel loneliness by reading, writing, etc.

third, loneliness itself becomes a poetic soil, which induces profound thinking and experience about life and self. "

from now on, learn to be alone, leave a blank to life, and you will find that this soil will bear sweet fruit.

come and go alone, but also have considerable scenery; a person's long flow of water, is also Qinghuan.

, may you be free to follow your heart, read the prosperity, and return to the truth.

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